Ladd
Skelly’s
TOP TEN LISTS
Top Ten Signs You May “Technology
Challenged”
1) If you still have a VCR and
it is still blinking 12 o'clock...
2) If you’ve said “Podcast?
No, thank you. I don’t fish.”
3) If you think broad band
is the elastic in your underwear...
4) If you think a “blog” is
something that clogs your toilet...
5) If you think WWW stands
for the World Wide Wrestling association...
6) If it takes you more
than 10 minutes to turn on your computer...
7) If you think a PDA is
your local podiatrist...
8) If you think
"uploading" is pumping your septic tank...
9) If you think MySpace is
an outside storage service…
10) If you're still
mastering the Apple IIe...
Top Ten Signs You May be the Data Guru
1. If the superintendent knows you by name.
2. If teachers run away from you when you arrive with
the state data reports.
3. If you get excited when the state reports arrive.
4. If your only friend is the principal.
5. If students ask, “Dude, where’s my data?”
6. If you have the state testing dates marked on your
calendar as a holiday.
7. If you are the only one who can access the data
management system from your home.
8. If you are the only one who has the password to the
data management system.
9. If you have more than 100 No. 2 pencils.
10. If you like to tell knock, knock jokes about data.
Top 10 Signs That You May Really Dislike
Technology
1. If you slap your monitor
more than three times per day...
2. If you've said, "It
will be a cold day in hell before I touch that computer“….
3. If you still use a ditto
machine…
4. If you've told your
students that computers are a figment of their imaginations…
5. If you decorate your
computer as Darth Vader during Halloween…
6. If your last updated
classroom computer was an Apple IIe and you don't mind…
7. If it takes you more
than 10 minutes to find the computer in your classroom…
8. If the last tech training
you attended was the integration of the TV into the curriculum…
9. If you have a picture of
a computer on your dart board…
10. If you think a computer
is just an object…
Top 10 Signs That Your Tech Workshop Is
Going Bad
1…when the participants ask,
“Are you sure this is a technology workshop?”
2…when someone
intentionally pulls the fire alarm to get a half hour break.
3 …when someone asks 10
minutes into the workshop, “When is the workshop over?”
4…when you see a majority
of the participants leaving for the bathrooms.
5...when you see the
participants reading the newspaper…
6…when the men start
crying.
7…when the participants
begin to play “Solitaire.”
8…when the participants
start shouting, “You’re killing us!”
9…when a participant asks,
“Are you one of those technology nerds?”
10…when you hear the first
snoring sound.
Top Ten Signs You May Need Internet
Training
1. If you think an Internet
Service Provider is part of the United States Welfare Program...
2. If you think TCP/IP is a
motor oil...
3. If you’ve said, “I
really enjoy traveling over
4. If you think “Yahoo” is
a chocolate drink...
5. If you’ve fallen for
that “www.whitehouse.com” trick…
6. If your grandmother is
using the Internet and you’re not...
7. If you think “browsing”
is walking through a mall…
8. If you still reply to
email messages by sending them to EVERYBODY…
9. If you think HTML is a
radio station…
10. If you call a cable
modem “a thingamajig”…
Top Ten Signs You May be the Tech
Coordinator
1. If you list the school
address as your home address…
2. If the teachers and
parents call you for computer recommendations during the holidays…
3. If you control more than
$100 of the school funds…
4. If you’re fixing the
principal’s home computer…
5.If everyone tells you
their printer problems…
6. If you have sticky notes
on your arm…
7. If you and the custodian
are the only ones who have the school security code…
8. If you know all the
tricks in repairing the school photocopying machine…
9. If you have delivered a
workshop on KidPix, PrintShop or
10. If you are the only one
who can connect the LCD projector…
Top 10 “Never Say Never” Statements
(Tech Coordinator Edition)
1. Never say, "Technology
really makes my life easier."
2. Never say, "You'll
never see me using Windows."
3. Never say, "This
network runs like a top."
4. Never say, "I've
never had a problem with my computer."
5. Never say, "This
repair should only take a half-hour."
6. Never say, "I think
I've mastered printer repair."
7. Never say, "Sure,
I'd love to carry your computer to your car."
8. Never say, I'll have you
up and running in no time."
9. Never say to a Mac user,
"Windows is so easy to learn."
10. Never say, "I'll
have no problem getting everyone to sign the copyright policy"
Top 10 Signs You May Be Obsessed With
Digital Photography
1. If you’ve understand
everything I’ve said so far…
2. If you say, “Smile!”
more than five times per day…
3. If teachers and students
run away when they see you with your camera…
4. If you say, “Ya know,
life was meaningless until I discovered this digital camera.”
5. If you take more than
one “Hey, look! I caught him in the bathroom!” shot…
6. If you color coordinate
your clothing to match your digital camera…
7. If you’ve taken more
than 5 pictures of your feet…
8. If you’ve take more than
500 pictures of your last classroom party…
9. If you carry your
digital camera 24/7…
10. If you have more than 5
digital cameras…